We all have them: the stories that we bring out again and again, to break the ice or fill the silence. Happy, gruesome, funny or sad, they all have a streak of craziness in them that we can relate to; whether it’s mistaken identity, wine, dates, monkeys … or vibrators.

Sunbathing

 When you are stuck in classes at university during summer, what do you do?

The weather was amazing: sapphire skies and silken breezes, and we had been stuck in rehearsals, essays and the library. So on a day with only one lecture, we eight girls hatched a plan to enjoy some much needed rest and relaxation. Money was pooled, a shopping list scripted and a bond of secrecy sworn. We arrived all giggling and breathless; climbed to the roof of one of the university buildings, with lookouts to make sure no one could see us. We had included one guy in our plans, as he was willing to sneak the necessary alcohol onto campus. He was allowed to stay and I’m pretty sure he has never had a day like that since. He was allowed to stay also because he was the perfect gentleman. We poured spritzers with more wine than seltzer, and stripped to our bikinis. We took photos, sunbathed, danced, and played music. Slightly browner, slightly drunker and all in a better mood. – Miss S

Driven to love?

He searches for the love in all the wrong places, but this hopeless romantic was not destined to

fight it on a beautiful summer’s day.

I drove to Potchefstroom, a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere, in order to woo a girl with potential. I also spent a fortune on petrol, a picnic and a bottle of really good wine, even though I had only met this girl once; but true to the heart of a hopeless romantic, I persevered. Exchanging an avalanche of texts and lengthy phone calls, we settled on what was to be a fateful date. It was planned by a hopeful (or hopeless) man to be a perfect first date. We ended up sitting on the roof of Tukkies, the university, with me trying to stop her from jumping off. Turned out she had a very, very crazy side. – Mr. G

Couldn’t Refuse

Another story for romantics, but this was with a definitely unconventional twist.

He had picked me up from my friend’s afternoon wedding. We had been a large group of university friends, and the girls had taken over the table. On the way home he insisted we stop off at the Johannesburg Zoo. I agreed, somewhat ungraciously. We walked around for a while and stopped before the monkey cages to sit on a bench. I can distinctly remember the way the little creatures watched us and chattered excitedly. And then he told me he had something for me. I first said “wow”; then I said “yes”. And the whole time I could hear the monkeys… We will be married for twenty years in 2012. – Mrs. M

New place, new story…

Hook-ups can be drunken, fun, uncomfortable, or so mortifying that only a self-inflicted lobotomy

(or a few) would fix things.

I had just moved to London on my ancestral visa and had, amazingly, got a fairly fabulous job as a journalist, even though it was mostly going to be typing about coal. I went out with my housemates to my first ever London club. A couple of drinks later and with a dance floor blooming, I met someone. He was sexy and appreciative; by this stage of the night that was all that mattered. We had a major hook up. First day at the new job, polished, slightly nervous and ready to earn my visa, I stepped into the office. When I was introduced to my colleagues, the hook-up, which I had hoped would be one-off, happened to be right in my face... Blind-dating could not be this dangerous! – Miss H

Hallucinogens

We all have one of these stories, definitely not the kind you would tell your parents.

This one time, after smoking some green cigarettes, a bunch of friends and I invaded the Emmarentia Canoe Club. We set up their Christmas tree (it was July), popped some Christmas crackers and set a canoe free to frolic wildly on the dam. We did try to take a boat but it started sinking so we abandoned it to its fate and ran. – Mr. R

The Sting

As a student there are some things that are rites of passage.  Buying the spliff is one of them.

I was in Pretoria and attempting to score some favours for a big Friday night. Turns out I was being watched and the police caught me. Thankfully instead of arresting me, they used me in a sting operation to catch a bunch of Nigerian drug dealers. A bribe or my life, I actually wasn’t given a choice! – Mr C

Keeping the crazy alive?

Having a good story to tell is like having a good pair of shoe: you know the comments you are going to get and how to play them to your advantage. Walk hard, and send me some more, please!