Curvaceous was considered beautiful during the Renaissance, but slowly skinny took over. Luckily for us there are women like Lindiwe (Lindi) Tshabalala who are completely happy being curvy. I chose to speak to her about this issue because, quite simply, she is happy and she is curvy. I am purposefully not going to use the word fat because some people find it offensive. And understandably so.

What is Fat?

I mean who defines what fat is? Is it the model booking agents where anything over size 8 is curvy? Is it Body Mass Index, which I also have my doubts about, although it is far more objective than most beauty editors of consumer magazines? Is it your aunts who are insensitive throughout puberty and think nothing of saying to you ‘Ohhhhh! You are getting so fat!’ when they see the first sight of womanly curves peaking. 

Unless you are in the mind of those who utter the ‘f’ word, you can never really be sure what it means.

Lindi for instance would use many words to describe herself, but, in the seven years I have known her, fat has never been one of her descriptors. She has always referred to herself as beautiful, hot, curvy, sexy.... never fat! So who am I to put that label on her? Who are you?

The Media Lie

And it is so ironic that Lindi, as a plus size woman, has always spoken about herself in such a positive light. When I, on the other hand, am a size 34 (and have been since about grade 7 or so – except at 13 I was referred to as chubby and encouraged to lose weight – and at 29 I’ve been advised that as a woman about to get a married I should gain weight). Talk about messing with a person’s mind!

This sort of stuff gets to you. I will be the first to admit that I fell under the trap of societal stereotypes after every December binge; I’d cringe at the mirror, hating its lumpy, wobbly reflection. Thankfully those days are starting to be a distant memory as I have grasped that the media lied.

Curvy is Flipen Sexy!

I mean look at this V-magazine shoot where they have captured curvy being luscious. And Lindi is as delicious – and I know this because she has had some play time in the dating game. You see, we have been led to believe that most men like skinny girls. The truth is we can’t quantify that and taking reference from my guy friends – emotionally mature and discerning  men will date a woman because of the entire package she presents ( beauty, brains and balls).

As Lindi says during our conversation, ‘My weight has never been an issue for men because I didn’t have an issue with it. When guys start dating you they have taken you in, so they do not miraculously think you are going to turn thin in the bedroom. They picture you naked as you are now, not you 10kg lighter. So you also need to be comfortable with that picture.’

Loving Life

 And every time I see her I love that picture. She has the most radiant smile and bubbling energy. Lindi is an internal communications specialist, but her role as part of the executive committee in the NGO, Cheese Kids, is what truly inspires her. ‘I’m glad that I’m part of such an organisation, I have enjoyed it so much. I have met people that I wouldn’t have met while doing something for a good cause.’ 

Always surrounded by her friends and family, Lindi is part of an energetic social circle that grows her emotionally and spiritually. ‘A lot of women in my family are plus size – and they have had active lives. My sisters, mom, cousins – they are such an eclectic group of people – so every time I interact with them I walk away having learnt something. My cousins are my friends, and my friends know my family well, so we all do things together.’ Jokingly she continues, ‘It’s an incestuous friendship.’

What is your Healthy?

I find it admirable that Lindi has not fallen victim to what society dictates. Societal opinion is not something to be taken lightly and so many people have become victims in many ways, suicide included, due to external pressures that they reinforce internally. It is not easy not conforming. That’s why it takes the strong among us to do that.

I have the opinion that as long as you are healthy that you can be any size you wish. And thin does not mean you are healthy! Fat does not mean you are unhealthy! Emotionally and physically our smart bodies tell us when something is not right; as in the case of Michelle Branco (), who I wrote about two weeks ago. She was plus size, but she was not healthy or happy – until finally she took the steps to do something. The result was a beautiful, content person.

Hence it is important that we listen to our bodies because they will not just let a catastrophe happen without first giving us warning signs. I feel a part of my journey into adulthood has been to pay attention to my body and thoughts. And Lindi sided with me, saying, ‘With age you realise that you really are what you eat and eating healthy is always a conscious decision. It takes effort and I certainly don't get it right all the time, but I endeavour to make the right choice for me.’  

It should start with intention and culminate into a change of lifestyle, I suppose. As Lindi further explains, ‘There are no quick fixes. Being healthy is a choice you make and with me it is an evolution of getting used to who I am. You learn to know yourself.’

Know Yourself

And that is the key, isn’t it? You have to know yourself. If you are genuinely unhappy with your weight (or anything at all), then by all means change your circumstance, but do this because you want to not because you are conforming to manmade standards. Lindi mentioned that we cannot all be the same. How true! Can you imagine how dull life would be?

Luckily, because we are different, life has remained colourful. I guess it is a case of each one embracing their uniqueness? Lindi concludes our chat and says, ‘I’m glad that I grew up in an age where there are big girls who make being big beautiful and show you how to show off your big girlness. I truly believe that dressing to fit your body will always make you feel like a million bucks!’

Amen Sister!

Check out this website, Young fat and fabulous; it is the premiere fashion blog for trendy plus size women. It's dedicated to girls who are in love with an industry that is not so in love with them.

But, instead of sulking, these girls are completely happy with being curvy! Awesomeness!