On 5 October a posse of Jozi law enforcement officials, Saxonwold and Parkwood residents and labourers from a nearby homeless shelter, all ably led by DA ward councillor Marcelle Ravid, scored a rare victory against lawlessness when they rode into Rosebank and painted over an illegal advertisement on a wall.

Once you’ve stopped laughing, you should feel sick at the waste of scarce city resources on a trivial matter, misplaced morality and selective bylaw enforcement of the worst kind.

Sharon Gordon

Sharon Gordon is one of our Mzansi Sistas, which means we regard her as an everyday hero. It also means if you hurt her you hurt us.

She studied law at Rhodes University and became a human rights attorney in the 80s. It was a turbulent time and her principles led to her being harassed and arrested on a number of occasions.

When things settled down she entered the corporate world and got married. With the birth of her son she chose to stay at home and by her own admission became very dependent on her husband. But that ended in divorce and she found it necessary to go back to work.

‘I would rather have cleaned toilets than have gone back to law,’ she smiles.

Sexual Rediscovery

At the time of her divorce Sharon was torn between a sexual rediscovery of herself and negative feelings that no one would love her again as she believed she was no longer attractive. The solution was to take herself off to a sex shop and buy a vibrator.

‘I’m very liberated about sex, but it was a terrible experience,’ she recalls. ‘I had to virtually disguise myself then go into one of these places and skulk round. It struck me then that no woman should ever have to go through this and the idea for Lola Montez was born. I’d been taught to screw people as an attorney so this was not much different.’

Lola Montez

Lola Montez, named after the passionate, notorious adventurer of the 19^th century who caused the abdication of a king, was started from a pink suitcase selling adult toys, novelties and erotic apparel to women at private parties. It is now a chain of four stores with a head office in Rosebank, Johannesburg.

All are safe outlets for women, staffed by women. The idea is to give professional advice without clients feeling intimidated. And they offer loads of fun. Here you’ll find dildos, vibrating creations, fuzzy handcuffs and edible body paints; sex games like War in the Bedroom, Fooling Around and Sex Dominoes; and pubic hair dyes, sexy lingerie and fantasy clothing. A T-shirt proclaims: ‘My sexual preference is often.’

The Sex Business

‘We’re all on earth because someone decided to have sex with someone else,’ says Sharon. ‘If we’re beautiful then the sex act must be beautiful. And women are sensual beings who rely on their senses to be turned on. There’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of about sex or in providing for people to enjoy their sexuality to the fullest.’

Lola Montez is about educating and empowering women through sensuality. It is up to everyone to choose who they want to be irrespective of what others may think. And part of who we are includes sex and sensuality.

The Dastardly Crime

Sharon’s dastardly crime was to paint an advertisement for Lola Montez on the outer wall of her head

office, which is in a rambling house on a busy intersection with Oxford Road. The advertisement read, ‘Lola Montez. Sexy lingerie, lubricants, erotic toys. Naughty things for nice girls.’

To mix metaphors, the idea that people actually get pleasure from sex steamed Ravid’s brain and got loads of local knickers in a knot. She called it, ‘part of her mission against visual pollution.’

Visual Pollution

 Now I can’t comment on Ravid’s level of aesthetics, but everywhere you look here is blighted by ‘visual pollution’. Opposite a McDonalds Golden Arches towers over one of their busiest outlets, at the exit of which is a huge billboard for a popular Irish whisky. I’m also not going to comment on her moral outrage, but intelligent people all know it was McDonalds featured in Supersize Me and alcohol (though I am fairly partial to this brand) is responsible for untold mayhem. 

Diagonally opposite is a dusty building site enclosed by a corrugated iron barrier. And on the remaining corner is one of those huge digital advertising boards that flashes messages every few seconds. It is just a little less gruesome than the building behind it. Everywhere else is an unsightly rash of estate agent boards. On the pavements outside Lola Montez and beneath the digital advertising board are open manhole covers that pose an immediate danger to pedestrians.

Political Pollution

So me thinks the problem is not ‘visual’, but political. We all know municipal elections are looming and it’s time once again to start rousing the masses. And what better way to make people think you give a fig (leaf) than with a moral crusade against a small business trying to put some fun into sex, however unsleazy.

But how, I asked myself, did Ravid manage to convince the African National Congress’s city fathers to support her in tackling this dire threat to order. Then I reminded myself that the majority leaders are also outraged at the idea that people (state president excluded) might be having a bit of fun between the sheets. One only has to think of our national minister of Beadworks and Preserving My Own Culture (sometimes quaintly referred to as the minister of Arts and Culture) who had a hissy fit over acclaimed photos of lesbians.

Selective Enforcement

But what really gets me is not the nonsense that spews out of these people’s mouths, but the openly selective enforcement of bylaws. By the way, we do not for a second deny that the store contravened a municipal regulation, but if you are going to clamp down it must be without fear or favour.

Here is what can be found within a block of Lola Montez, which not only had their sign painted over but were issued a fine:

• Everywhere there are illegal signs. Ravid and her mob even painted round one. On an electric box outside there was a poster for penis enlargement. And just down the way another for some form of handyman services,
• None of the street pole advertising has the requisite authority from the council.
• Graffiti is everywhere, the most offensive of which is ‘Abortion is Murder’.
• There was a drunk passed out just next to her entrance.
• This is a busy taxi area and the infringements are too many to list, but you get my drift.
• This corner is the favourite for Oxford Road sex workers to ply their trade after the sun goes down.
• There were 12 street vendors weaving their wares between traffic.
• And, this is the best, there is an illegal hawker against the Lola Montez wall. Ravid’s merry gang moved him ever so slightly so they could paint behind him.

Trivial Affair

Some might say this is a trivial affair, but for us it is part of a growing trend of those with power to abuse it. That goes for both the DA and ANC and we should guard against it at every turn. Today it is easy targets like an informal settlement or sex shop, but what is to stop it one day being your neighbourhood, like when the Metro Cops moved all Norwood restaurants off the pavement, if you don’t hold those in authority accountable now?

A public prosecutor in 1994, while refusing to pursue charges of public indecency, commented, ‘I suggest that everyone involved in this incident be furnished with a colouring-in incident and crayons so that they may spend their time in a more productive manner.’

Precisely. And to show up the silliness of Ravid et al Sharon, in her normally tongue-in-cheek manner, was quick to have two banners made. The one reads: ‘Oooo-gasm we’re in trouble.’ The other: ‘Our sign is gone, but we’re still here.’