Before I wrote this story I asked my friends on Facebook about which inspirational South African women they want to hear about. Amongst these were Miriam Tladi (black novelist) and Mamphela Ramphele (academic, businesswoman, author, medical doctor and anti-apartheid activist).
Mamphela Ramphele
Mamphela has so many honorary degrees, accolades and achievements behind her name that as much as she ‘inspires’ me, I wonder if it would be attainable if this was the person I took daily motivation from.
Is there such a thing as setting the bar way too high for myself? Possibly. I mean the woman is currently a trustee on the board of the Rockefeller Foundation in New York and she mothered Steve Biko’s children! What would we talk about, last Sunday’s dinner at Tokyo Sexwale’s house? Do you understand my point? How do I get inspiration from someone whose reality is just so foreign to me?
When I think Mamphela I feel extremely proud that a black woman has excelled to her heights. But inspired? Not yet. Not at this stage of my life. Let me get a few best sellers under my belt, perhaps be on one or two internationally acclaimed literary boards, and then people like her will inspire me to think the Nobel Prize for Literature is attainable.
Superbeing
It was Keli’s motivation about why her mother is the most inspirational woman she knows that won me over. She said, ‘my mom, according to me, is a supermom. Her husband (our father) passed away when she was quite young. She made raising three daughters look so easy while she was studying toward her degree.’
Hmmmm. This to me is attainable and I therefore find it inspiring in my current reality. You see, as I deliberated over what is truly inspiring to me, I came to realise that if at some point I do not think I can fulfil this persons actions, then how can I be inspired? Because then what it is, is a wish or a dream; which are good as well, but they hardly hold out because they seem so unattainable at times.
Ramphele is a rare breed who should run for president because she is able to juggle so many demands with pure, considered sense. I find this awe-inspiring in an awesome, superbeing sort of way.
Or Supermom
On the other hand there is Keli’s mother, Rebecca Mheta. She found herself widowed at 25 with small children. And this is a situation we can relate to because we all know someone in trouble. What inspires me is that she didn’t fold, but rose above the occasion by getting down to the business of what she had to do.
I find this inspiring in an, ‘if she can do it so can I sort of way.’
Rebecca is just like me, or your sister, or your cousin, or your aunt. She is one of us. And she went beyond the call of duty by not only providing for her daughters, but for her family and students too. I find this inspiring. And I find it attainable. And I find it honourable.
I have known many people (yes, me too) who have cried to the gods/universe, ‘Why me’, as the trials and tribulations of this world settled in. When this happens to any one of us, there are three ways the story will end – worse off than before, unchanged, or you will be a better person. I am assuming Rebecca did cry to the gods/universe, but that was evidently momentary. At some point I imagine that she focused on her new role as ‘one of both father and mother to her daughters’ and she would end up a better person.
Dream on Hold
You see, Rebecca is currently living in Mmabatho and works as a Faculty Manager for Commerce at the University of the
Not that this has made Rebecca despondent. In fact, she is so proud of her daughters that she talked about how blessed she is to have daughters who mostly listen to her without too much of a fight (and I completely agree – she really is blessed to live through three hormonal teenagers unscarred!). She explains, ‘there are values that I instilled in them and I have to believe they will live them out. I tried to teach them that with self respect you will be respected by other people – you need to do that for yourselves.’
What Keli Said
What I know about Keli, Rebecca can be assured that these values have most certainly split over to her eldest daughter. She can also be assured that her daughter is tremendously appreciative of her efforts.
Keli says, ‘She keeps the entire family together. She has helped put some of my cousins through university and continues to be mother in their lives. She took us to the best schools and gave us the best as her children. Students from the university know her well for going the extra mile just to help them out. She loves to travel, which is something she instilled in all of us, me especially. She plays netball and lives a healthy and active life. She is like every other mother, loving yet sometimes overprotective. Humble and simple, with an amazingly positive attitude. That's my mom!’
Value Education
Picking up from what Keli said, I asked Rebecca about the other extended family members she has assisted. This is when she made me understand why she values education so much, by saying, ‘It is not easy for blacks to penetrate the market. At least with an education they can have a good start. Even something as simple as making every day decisions is easier if you are educated. So they need an education so that they can rely on themselves.’
To strengthen her conviction about the rewards of education, she related a story of her niece who she put through school. ‘I needed to help them (extended family), because education is their weapon. I took my sister’s daughter through university and now she works for Proctor and Gamble in
And we will all have a better future with such inspirational women in our midst.
