What women want is one of the greatest questions of life. The answers are sometimes simple, sometimes not. They change, often, which is one of the complexities of the question.

Over the years I’ve come to learn a few things about what women want. Here’s one thing that has come up recently in a few sessions with couples – she wants to be desired.

Simple! She wants to be desired. And she has to know that you do, she has to feel it. You have to communicate it, with words, with actions. It’s vital to tell her, sometimes in words that really express your lust, from the centre of your sexuality, from the fire.

If she feels the fire, she feels special, she feels wanted, beautiful, powerful, POWERFUL!

And here’s where it grows, it’s not just about the sex, it’s linked to the heart.

This is what gives it meaning, sustenance and substance. Because as important as sex is, as much as it defines us as men and women, there’s more. It all revolves around the heart.

It was once said that when sex works it’s 20% of a relationship, when it doesn’t it’s 90%. Without that basic intimacy it becomes impossible to deal with other issues.

But when she feels desired, and that’s an important word, not just wanted, but desired, because there’s depth there, she feels loved. She can be the Slut Goddess, she can be all that she is, express all the aspects of her being, sexually, sensually, emotionally, spiritually.

In your desire, you create the safety for her, the space for expression. You need to tell her, you need to show her. Your words need to come from the heart, then she knows they’re true.