Living the life you choose, following your own path: stop worrying what society expects and doing what you enjoy. Do what you want to do. Sounds like a bad pop-rock tune. Being yourself and living by your own set of rules is possibly the most difficult thing you will ever have to do. But you do have to do it; at least to some degree.

The Big Choices

Throughout our lives we have to make choices, some big, some medium and some tedious. Of course it’s the big ones that really shape what we have to do. These choices can be narrowed down to the following:

1)    Career

2)    Relationships

At least these are the ones we can sum up in one word. I have awe-inspiring friends and I’m going to borrow some of their life stories to illustrate some people who ‘bust out’…

Career

My friend Lee was smart: MENSA level IQ and an affinity for studying. She was all set to matriculate and head into a bright, successful future. But the choice of what to study became her stumbling-block. She loved art but did equally well in accounting. Her parents were set on her going into the business world. Chartered Accountancy was their goal for her.

She wasn’t sure. Every day she had a different career and they ranged from the bizarre: from marine conservationist (she was actually scared of water) to hotelier (her politeness never reached her eyes). She eventually told me that she had secretly been doing research on careers in the arts for months, but she couldn’t admit it to anyone because it seemed like such a risky maneuver. And deep down, she really didn’t want to disappoint her parents. 

Before I knew it, exams were over and we were heading towards holiday and student-satisfaction. Then Lee dropped her bombshell. She had applied to do a Dramatic Degree, been interviewed, dragged her parents along for counseling meetings and won a bursary. She was going to study television, a realm where her logical side could fuse with the practicalities. By just throwing herself into her passion, taking good advice and being happy with her choice, she had bust out of her limited future into a whole new one. She is now a Head of Department at a major television station. And her parents haven’t sulked since.

Relationships

I’m going to use the sweet little story of what Kay did to illustrate her busting out and standing out in relationships. This is the story of one woman who simply couldn’t bust out, just because she had never been locked in. Kay was approaching her sweet sixteenth birthday, the first hurdle of womanhood, if you will (disregarding the travesty that is puberty). 

Kay and I had birthdays in the same month. We both celebrated: I with a sleepover, she with an ice-skating outing. It was all great fun and a month later we decided to go to the mall for a shopping expedition. Of course, in between clothes racks, we talked through yards of material.  The biggest secret shared that day in the fitting rooms was that in the last month we had been kissed; proper kisses with boys! 

As most people will say, sixteen is a little bit old for the first kiss; and even though I didn’t admit it at the time, I felt that I was a little abnormal. Kay put me into the correct perspective. “I never wanted to be kissed before I was sixteen. That makes it so average. If you are sweet sixteen and never been kissed, you are a rare commodity. You are special and unique. And a kiss from you is then special and unique.” The woman was wise even at sixteen.

Soul Mate

Recently, as in a couple of days ago, Kay married her soul mate. They had never lived together before they got married, determined to make their union even more special. I have never seen a couple so closely bound with love and joy. They just opened a brand new chapter of their lives in Kay’s unique and special way. Even little choices, like being an innocent sweet sixteen (and reveling in it), can lead to having a one-off romance further down the line. 

Conclusion Busted

I think busting out is something we all must do, not because society lays constraints on us, but because then we really know who we are and what we want. Kay and Lee made their dreams and aspirations a reality by being themselves. Let’s bust out today – even if it’s something as small as wearing unconventional shoes, just because they make us feel so damn hot!