Within every woman is great sexual power. Most women are aware of this at some stage in their lives, but many suppress it because it’s too challenging for the world around them, too threatening for their partner and too scary for themselves.

Sexual Power

It’s a sad fact that most men cannot keep up and satisfy a woman in the beauty of her sexual power. As men, we’ve lost the art of sexual learning to brute force and ego.

We’ve also missed out on one of the most important understandings about relationships and women. A sexually satisfied woman is happy and peaceful. It’s almost that simple.

Guided Meditation

A long time ago on a workshop I was taught a guided meditation. The basic story is this: you are a young man in a kingdom about to be knighted by the queen the next day. This is the biggest day of your life.

You go down to the river to bathe and see a young girl, so beautiful she fills you with such lust that you grab her and force yourself on her. Of course, the queen hears about this, calls you and says, ‘You’ll be forgiven if in one year you can answer a question: how does a woman want to be loved? One year to the day you are to return to the queen and honour will be heaped on you, or don’t return if you don’t have the answer.’

Leaving the Kingdom

You leave the kingdom and go through hell, losing everything. The night before you’re supposed to appear before the queen you enter the kingdom. An ugly, dirty, smelly old hag comes up to you.

‘I know who you are,’ she says, ‘and I have the answer for you. If you marry me I’ll give it to you. You can marry me as I am and I’ll be absolutely faithful, look after you and make you rich. Or I can become the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen, but I’ll be fickle and faithless. I’ll make your life a misery.’

You’re so exhausted, so desperate to come home, that you say, ‘I’ll marry you anyway you like, you choose.’ She immediately becomes the most beautiful woman, promising you the world and her fidelity.

The Power to Choose

The point is that she wanted the power to choose how to be loved. This gives her the freedom to be all that she can, to express all the different parts of herself, the goddess and the slut, the mother, wife, daughter, friend, lover, career, whatever it is the SHE chooses. Then she will love you like no other.

I have become convinced over the years that this idea alone can have such enormous impact on relationships. Not easy for many men. It requires the ability to allow her to grow without any of your insecurities and fears.

Out to Play

I always find it fascinating that many men think they’re much more adventurous than their partners are. Time and again I’ve seen that as soon as a woman feels physically and emotionally safe, she will allow the goddess, the beast, the slut, the fun, the excitement out to play. This is where it gets scary for a lot of men. This is where we get challenged to the very core of our being.

Well, here’s hope: if you allow her that freedom, that love, she’ll love you more. Yes there are men with more money, bigger penises, better lovers, smarter, but you’re the one she chose. You honour her by giving her the gift of herself. You also claim yourself as man amongst men.

What we suppress in ourselves, our partner picks up subconsciously, and it manifests as anger. Allow her, her beauty, her power, and she’ll take you on a journey that will be so exciting, so challenging, but so rewarding and fulfilling. This is one of the most important steps in giving each other the freedom to be who you are.

And to love with all you are.